"Listen Travis, if you don’t like someone you meet online, just be honest and say thanks for playing! Then, slam the door in their face, and they’ll get the hint. You, my friend, are too nice. These guys know the rules,” Janice said, slyly.

Travis just nodded, sipping his happy hour Heineken, trying hard to relax. The thumping house music at Pieces on Christopher Street had already managed to give him a splitting headache, and as he nervously scanned the crowd, he knew that tonight, like every other night, he’d be going home alone. At twenty-five, Travis’s dating life was basically non-existent heading full speed toward complete oblivion.

“Get one of those gay apps and find yourself some boys. You ain’t getting any younger. And Grandma’s tired of you bringing Janice to all the family reunions,” Travis’s mother said the next week while shoving an Apple bag at his chest. Inside the box was an iPhone. Not only did Travis not have Facebook, but, up until this very moment, he still used his Motorola flip-phone circa 2005.

In his wildest dreams, Travis never thought he would actually ever WOOF at a man online. He yearned for a real life connection, but could it be possible that Apple was onto something…

What am I looking for, Travis thought, staring at the iPhone screen.
Was he looking for right now?
Later?
Did he want to host?
Travel?
Travel where?
Want to party?
What the hell did PNP mean?
Masculine for Masculine?
No fems.
Am I fem?
POZ?
BB?
Undetectable?

Gay shorthand was baffling! As he browsed all of the profiles on Manhunt.com, Adam4Adam, Scruff, and Grindr, he wondered what he could possibly see in these hardbodied-headless-figures roaming the Internet super highway with their penises proudly exposed?

Travis didn’t know the rules, but he took his Grandmother’s advice and signed up for them all. Soon, he got his first smile, then wink, then woof. It felt surprisingly good. Perhaps this wasn’t going to be so bad, he thought as he made the first of many first dates with the headless men of the gay inter-web.